Hello my friends, it’s an ice filled night here in Kentucky and I would like to address an issue tonight. Over the past few months, I’ve learned a lot about about my relationship with God. The closer I draw to him, my life becomes more blessed. My life is no where near perfection and I don’t want it to be. I feel like I am exactly where God planted me and I will bloom. The past few months have been eye opening, painful, discouraging, scary, exciting, happy, and emotional all in one big ole bag of awesome. Corey and I have been attending our church on a regular basis. Though my health continues to deteriorate, I feel stronger than ever. Things that once mattered now seem so pointless. My new dance company has started to take form and I’m loving every minute of it. My returning kiddos are doing amazing and we’ve added a few new ones into the mix as well. This year is all about a transition of life and I can’t lie to you, it’s HARD. Going from being the breadwinner of the family to housewife is nothing short of drastic. I’m thankful that doctor appointments and school keep me occupied. Life is much different these days, but I have chosen to be bloom where God has planted me.
I come to you tonight, to have a voice for those that won’t speak up. In my personal health struggle, I seemingly appear “normal” on the outside as do others with autoimmune disease. What others SEE is a normal, happy go lucky gal who occasionally mentions she’s having a bad day or sometimes I have to cancel plans because I’m having a flare or worse…a trip to the emergency room. Unfortunately, they only see about 10% of my day…IF it’s a good one. The rest of the time is spent trying to stretch out your joints because you are stiff as a board, keeping track of medications, trying to hold food down, struggling with normal every day tasks, dealing with constant fatigue, chronic pain, and the emotional toll that it takes over you. The depression and anxiety of living with something that is a silent killer and has no cure can be completely overwhelming. New symptoms and ailments see to come out of no where and it can take multiple doctors and/or tests to tell you why.
People start to question if you really are sick because they SEE a normal person. These people start to slowly fade away until they just don’t call anymore because they can’t handle your emotional health roller coaster. When this starts to happen, you honestly start to question yourself. Am I going crazy? Am I even sick? When people tell you that you don’t “look” sick it can be the hardest thing to hear. Know this my friends, sickness does not know one specific definition. Little comments like that can be heartbreaking to someone suffering with an invisible illness. As someone fighting autoimmune disease, we aren’t looking for sympathy.
We just want you to fight WITH us not against US.